sister lastname is forcing me (in the sense that she’s turning it up real loud knowing that i’m in the kitchen and can’t avoid hearing/seeing it) to watch bristol palin’s reality show and GOOD GOD NO. at one point i believe i shrieked “SOMEONE GIVE ME 5 MILLION DOLLARS TO BE BORING AND STUPID BECAUSE I COULD DO IT! I AM ALMOST AS BORING AS THIS!”

how is a major plot point “i don’t know how to cook a chicken”

motherfucking google “how do i cook a whole chicken”