We’ve seen Andy Carroll’s passionate kisses and Gerard Pique’s huggy takedowns in FIFA 12, but the game’s true depravity has so far gone unnoticed. Until now.
In a match that appears to be Barcelona v Barcelona, Victor Valdes takes out both Carles Puyol and David Villa with one tackle in the box, launching the two players into an unsettling Human Centipede-type situation. Unfortunately for Puyol, he is the back end.
Bringing the whole thing to a suitably odd conclusion, Puyol has a full-bodied convulsion with his face still attached to Villa’s backside before they both stand up and walk away like they didn’t just share the most intimate moment of their lives. Now who’s ready for another Clasico?
for we are young
and sure to have our way don't ask me any questions want to chat with singles in your area?
and sure to have our way don't ask me any questions want to chat with singles in your area?
January 18, 2012
November 30, 2011
October 5, 2011
"In other words, poor Cristiano is on the wrong side of some powerful cultural forces. Given an improbably magical player with an improbably likable personality who, oh, by the way, happens to play for the most beloved and stylish team on the planet, fans are going to resist thinking he could have a rival at all, regardless of what happens on the pitch. You want to feel — I do, anyway — that no one could possibly be in Messi’s league. And so, in the same way that Real Madrid has been transformed over the past few years into a sort of negative index of Barcelona’s greatness, Ronaldo has become the designated hate object whose preordained role is to not be as good as Messi. In some weird way, discounting his talent means taking a stand against arrogance, pointlessly flashy play, and the soullessness of soccer mercenaries."
— oh boy this is a super interesting article about messi and ronaldo’s non-rivalry
September 13, 2011
August 18, 2011
well then i guess in accordance with this arbitrary standard of ‘good person’ that tumblr is operating under today, barca and rm are equal.
May 7, 2011
"And here’s where I save your life. Because the truth about hyperpartisanship is that it is an absolutely miserable and unpleasant way to be a sports fan. No one talks about this, because (a) people who complain about rage in sports tend to want to mourn some lost standard of politeness, which has nothing to do with anything, and (b) because hyperpartisan fans are the most outwardly invested in their clubs, so there’s a presumption that they’re the most authentic or admirable supporters, even if they’re also, everyone knows, unbearably obnoxious. It’s the last bit, the presumption of authenticity, that’s the most concerning, because if you’re just getting into soccer, and you love your club, well, then you don’t want anyone to be more totally into your club than you are. So especially if you’re already surrounded by a lot of hyperpartisan fans in your daily life, your instinct may be to go in with blinders on and drink from the chalice of the faith.
The problem is that by doing so, you condemn yourself to a life of always being at least a little angry about a thing you supposedly love, a life of storing up slights and spinning them into bitter little stories, a life of basically hostile, suspicious, and un-fun commitment to a thing that only exists to give you joy. The sole and entire point of sports is to enjoy sports; even if you think athletic competition has a deeper purpose, that it helps with moral instruction or enforcing community ties or whatever else, it’s only able to serve that purpose because it’s fun in the first place. If your love of soccer has brought you to a point where you’re no longer really able to see the game as something wonderful and amazing except in narrow moments of unequivocal triumph, then you are doing it wrong, no matter how many kills you rack up on the internet. On that note, it’s also not unimportant that the mind-warp of hyperpartisanship is eventually going to make you think and say things that are, let’s be frank, really fucking stupid, and that there’s no need for you to be really fucking stupid just to support your club."
The problem is that by doing so, you condemn yourself to a life of always being at least a little angry about a thing you supposedly love, a life of storing up slights and spinning them into bitter little stories, a life of basically hostile, suspicious, and un-fun commitment to a thing that only exists to give you joy. The sole and entire point of sports is to enjoy sports; even if you think athletic competition has a deeper purpose, that it helps with moral instruction or enforcing community ties or whatever else, it’s only able to serve that purpose because it’s fun in the first place. If your love of soccer has brought you to a point where you’re no longer really able to see the game as something wonderful and amazing except in narrow moments of unequivocal triumph, then you are doing it wrong, no matter how many kills you rack up on the internet. On that note, it’s also not unimportant that the mind-warp of hyperpartisanship is eventually going to make you think and say things that are, let’s be frank, really fucking stupid, and that there’s no need for you to be really fucking stupid just to support your club."
—
w/r/t 90% of real madrid supporters on tumblr
April 29, 2011
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Camp Nou,
we shall fight on the social networking sites
we shall fight with growing confidence and the growing strength of our twitter followers, we shall defend our passive-aggressive facebook statuses, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on tumblr,
we shall fight on gchat,
we shall fight in anon asks and instant messages,
we shall fight in hate texts;
we shall fight, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, La Liga or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Corporate Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the PR fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to reveal that we are all giant babies.”
1 of 3
Next page
